I'm a Minister

It has come about that I've entered the cloth.

Not the most expected thing a hardcore atheist would say, but one said it nonetheless.

"What???"

That's probably what you're saying. Listen up.

I received a call a few weeks back from one of my best friends, Peter Yeager. He wants me to marry him and Anna. How can I say no? I already knew you could simply buy a certificate of ordainmanship for $20.00 from a friend of mine now living in New York, Brandon Rivington. Another atheist registered as a minister.

Now, just to sit back as a member of the church and speculate, much like Martin Luther as he questioned the views of the past and formed protestantism. If you can BUY your way into being a minister for $20, then is every ministers chops as a member of the cloth now worth $20? I don't believe in your religion but you can at least take some pride in your craft guys, because it's my craft too now.

So I got ordained and married Peter and Anna Yeager. They're delightfully happy and I'm putting it on my Curriculum Vitae that I married someone. Everybody won and it was a fantastic day. I'm glad I got to do that.

Secondly: THOUGHT QUAKE NOW DOES MARRIAGES.

Wanna get married to someone? Don't respect religious figures? Well now there's one you can. Me. It's even in my family guys, there's a church of St. Sims in England somewhere still. Don't want to pay a preposterous amount? I do it for love, kindness, and the joy of joining two happy people.

Not only am I a minister, I chose to be a Pastafarian minister. For those of you who are not aware, pastafariamism is the belief in a giant invisible flying spaghetti monster. Not really something you can take seriously right? Good, because if you did you'd be stupid. The whole thing is a turn of phrase, much like any other mythology, and it's meant to make a point.

Here's mine: Religion isn't really something to take quite so seriously. It's folklore, a metaphor. Based on something that may or may not have existed, but it's so up in the air it might have also been a giant flying spaghetti monster that rigged the whole thing with magic to test us. The test was to see if you're an idiot or not.

These are your words of wisdom from Reverend Jeremy Sims